Talon, Dad is trying really hard today. It's been a very rough week. School is going to be getting out for you pretty soon, and for all I know your mom and you is going to be taking off somewhere. I could probably write quite a bit but I just want to keep it simple today. I'm already exhausted and just trying to find something to do to keep my mind off of things, but I can't. I'm still in the circle of trying to figure out why Mom did what she did and how she did it. It still doesn't make sense. There's a lot of people that say we shouldn't tell you about these things but, what choice do I have? I know you've been told things about me that just simply aren't true or are under circumstances that you don't understand. I know you know right from wrong. I know you have to do things to try to stay happy yourself, but I have to as well. I can't be happy unless I know you know the truth. It's not fair to me or you living with lies.  One of the reasons mom got real mad was because...

Revenge; - noun. the act of retaliating for wrongs or injury received; vengeance. something done as a means of vengeance. the desire to take vengeance or retaliate. Philosophical; When we're motivated to seek revenge, it's often out of a sense of fairness. If an injustice has been committed, then the only way to restore balance in the moral universe is if the wrongdoers pay for what they've done. Justice will not prevail until those who have caused suffering are made to suffer themselves. In looking over the progressive contemplations and determinations made by various peoples on through literature and story throughout recorded history anyways, I've seen a lean towards letting the balance remain as it is and allowing the universe, god, or would have you take care of restoring that balance. It's allowed societal and cultural convention to be laid out through laws and behavioral patterns to simply perpetuate more behavior and protection of those guilty of wrongdoing. It removes accountability for actions. Anytime I brought up wanting answers, wanting the people around us to be told the truth, including my son I was told point blank that “all I was looking for was revenge”. My response more than once was,...

Survivor of narcissistic abuse, Reva Steenbergen provides a fact based perspective on the inner workings of a narcissist and the direct impact it has on their victims. This read is intensely accurate, raw and revealing as we examine how the narcissist target's and plays with a person's feelings and emotions in a wicked, psychological game of manipulation and control.The reader will uncover the truth about...~ Who is vulnerable to the advances of a narcissist and how a narcissist pursues their target~ Empath versus narcissist, why the two attract~ How narcissists provide the perfect allure to draw people in~ What makes a narcissist so relentlessly cruelty~ The mind, the method, the behavior, and the reasoning behind a narcissist's abuse~ The reasoning behind why victims stay in an abusive relationship with a narcissist~ Explore the abusive technique used by narcissists, known as Gaslighting.Gaslighting involves the art of creating a false illusion by blending small portions of truth with larger portions of lies. This false illusion is then presented as "an absolute truth" and becomes believable because of the fragments of truth that exist within the lie. Narcissists use this technique to mentally, psychically and emotionally torture their victims. Gaslighting becomes a vicious tool...

Leading child safety campaigner, Good Egg Safety CIC, has today launched a new publication to provide support and assistance to parents, grandparents and wider family members who have been emotionally cut off from their children following separation or divorce. It follows a study undertaken last year which generated over fifteen hundred responses and laid bare for the first time the devastation, financial ruin, and mental health issues many have suffered as a result. The psychological manipulation of a child by a parent or main carer following separation or divorce, which is intended to disrupt and ultimately sever the child’s attachment bond to their other parent without justification, is one of the worst actions any parent can inflict on a child.Referred to as ‘parental alienation’, the pattern of repeated aberrant parenting behaviours deployed – which every alienated victim parent throughout the world would instantly recognise – can quickly lead to the outright ‘rejection’ of a safe loving mother, father, grandparents and wider family. Children who are taught to hate, to dismiss, to be cruel and to be bestowed with empowerment well beyond their level of understanding and cognitive abilities, suffer grievously as a consequence. Adults who were alienated as children testify to this. Their legacy...

I just wanted to share something so private I never expected to share it with anyone except him and his mother. This is one of the last times I was able to touch my son. This was in January 2019, after I had managed to get back to Hawaii after a lot of financial hardship being on the mainland here. I was there after finding out Diane had had an affair a year earlier, but we had talked about it and she reassured me that it meant nothing in the long run and was over. Regardless of how she presented it to me, I was in panic mode, I needed to be there, it had already been too long and I felt my world was slipping away and I needed to do what I could to try to save what was left of it.  I came for Christmas and stayed through the New Years. Her father wouldn't allow me near the house so friends of hers, Corey and Amber let us stay at their home. Her father and I never really got along because of difference of opinion when it came to family and overall human decency. I talk about this...

Don't bring the word empathy to the table with me. Mine left once his mother became this thing that murdered her former self and you dared walk into my field. The blood you have drawn from my heart and my family will not go unchallenged. You started a war with me when you hid my innocent son and kept him from me. You thought about it well before you did it and planned how you were going to do it. You've been grooming him against me with lies. If he knew the truth he never would have stood for it. Without that truth you can only buy his compliance, like you bought his mother-  Congratulations. You bought an aging whore that couldn't stop relapsing after having a kid and the money addiction got the best of her. You're just a retirement John. Any wrath you suffer now you brought on yourself and you have no counter for it, even if I am gone. If you draw blood from one father you give 300 more charge to respond.  And I do mean suffer-  in this life and the next.  Everyday you have kept him from me will be an inch of skin that the...

Recent conversations with “this guy” (you know, the one that Diane decided was a good idea to put between me and my son for communication) pretty much prove he's just a scared ferret. He knew about her hiding things from me, and he probably wouldn't even look or care at the things she was saying to keep me going along the way. I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt once and just let him know to see how he felt about it. He disregarded it so right there, a scared, 50-year-old loner that can only get things by buying his way with shortcuts. It's on paper, it's in chats, it's in voice. He doesn't have much time left. Their whole perpetuation of me being a danger to Diane and Talon is nothing more than him trying to protect his own ass. I don't give a shit what the rest of the world thinks about male to male confrontation in a scenario like this. You have men walking around in dresses right now and shoving tampons up their ass because transgressions like this are applauded and coddled by the fucked up society that's creating them. He's “safe” to her because he...

Without even opening my eyes, the thought of my son tears at me. I realize the situation I'm in. It all starts over again. I might have managed to make it through these hours of sleep without a bad dream but that's rare. Most of the time it's old and new scenarios that sometimes become so twisted and ugly I wake up the rest of the way and notice that I've been crying in my sleep, so I'm stuck between what I just experienced while sleeping with the reality of what the day has in store for me. The dreams aren't the wonderful fantastic adventures like I used to have. My hands hurt, because I've been clutching my son's pillow so hard, and the ring on my finger sometimes has dug so hard into my finger it is has bled. As I open my eyes, I start crying again in the first thing that I say is to my son- Talon, I'm so sorry, I don't know what I did. Please think of me today, I'm trying to hold on. Please try to find a way to reach out to me and let me know it's okay. And then I think...

"The smell of your lies and treachery will forever bring them to you." Until you have seen the Gods and been in their halls, everyone with a belief can be considered chaotic, unknowing and unstable. For some people it is a lifelong conflict, and others have found personal resolution by not acknowledging that conflict at all. We rely on stories we are told and things we cannot see to absolve fears and answer questions being asked, time immortal. Every civilization and culture shapes their own ways to answer those questions. …And with each and every one of them there have always been the same battles and challenges, no matter the marked calendar or measure of time. Good vs Evil, Truth vs Lies, Love vs Hate. Our stories, sagas, and writings manifest to give hope and teach in ways so we can understand. Modern society has proven time and time again that instead of embracing those core universal laws and virtues, we've imposed a sanction on the very fabric of those garments we are supposed to swaddle our children with and weave into our lives as a way to persevere. Weaker men have allowed this, and it's been made easy by turning...

 No! Absolutely not... I've been cut off from my son, his mother took me off of the birth certificate so I cannot contact authorities and she will not communicate with me at all. Her idea of adequate communication is me sending, in her own words- snail mail. Not in this day and age, not for the way she did these things. In all 13 years since he was born it was rare that a day went by that I was not able to say I love him at night and took him in for bed.  I have always been a good father, and I am tired of people questioning that. Thousands of pictures, videos, text messages letters, chats. Look at them. Read them. Listen to them Goddamn it.  I have NEVER done or said anything remotely close that would lead anyone to believe that I would harm my son or his mother. Ever. EVER.  “Focus on Today.” Sure, that's easy for you to say. I was completely in the dark and lied to this whole time up until this all blew up in my face. My son was even made to lie to me during all of this, and when he tried to tell me how he...

What happens when the very same system designed to protect children fails?That’s exactly what is happening right now in the UK family courts in cases of Parental Alienation, a form of post-divorce abuse.Cafcass define Parental Alienation as ‘when a child’s resistance or hostility towards one parent is not justified and is the result of psychological manipulation by the other parent’; yet experts, therapists and social workers are not trained to assess or deal with cases involving Parental Alienation. I spent years making my case to judges, experts and lawyers, all of whom failed to agree on what was actually happening between my ex-wife, my kids and myself. At the time it seemed like I was constantly trying to prove a negative, to find a new direction to reach my kids, and while all were promising, all ended in expensive dead ends as my ex-wife pursued her agenda.If I had to sum up the experience of trying to prove Parental Alienation in the courts, I would describe it as being trapped in the backseat of a car while it crashes in slow motion. You can buy the book, ebook or audiobook here. The system is not fit for purpose. The family courts...

One of the hardest things I've had to deal with is just the fact that I can't do this alone. Me relying on my son's mother to do the right thing and have our best interests at heart completely flew out the window with her behavior leading up to and during our situation. I don't recognize that person anymore. I have been proud most of my life of my accomplishments, and maybe this might be some sort of strange irony or something, because one of the few things I've had left no matter how hard things got was that. and now, that's even waning. It's been constantly on my mind why anybody would want to help someone they don't even know. There are a lot of other people facing problems out there these days, and I'm just one in a million. I have always tried to give something back if I was ever given help, and asked nothing in return when offering help. Some kind people have made suggestions and they know how much it means to me to feel like I am doing my part so, once again I put my skills that I do have to use and made...

"She calls me being upset about lies, abuse." "She calls me being upset about infidelity, abuse." "She calls me being upset about the living conditions my son was under, abuse." "She calls me being upset about never being told sorry- not once, abuse." "She calls me being upset about finding out she moved herself in my son without my consent or knowledge, abuse." "She calls me trying to reach out to my son so I don't feel alone in this, abuse." "She calls me being upset because she is hiding my son from me and giving him only her side of the narrative, abuse." "She calls me being upset that I was taken off of my son's birth certificate as his father, abuse." "She calls me being upset because she bed “hired” an arrogant wallet replacement to stand in the way between me and my son, abuse." "She calls me being upset about being hurt consistently over years, 13 YEARS, forgiving her again and again and trusting her when she said she wouldn't do it anymore, and then coming to the realization that she meant this the whole time, abuse." "She calls me being upset that I feel like I'm trying...

Do you know what it's like to feel that your child has been given and coerced into believing the wrong things about you? Do you know what it's like to see the results of Parental Alienation manifesting themselves in your child's attitude towards you? Do you know what it's like to all of a sudden, come to the realization through experience, others experiencing, and professional counseling that you are even a victim of Parental Alienation? That it's actually Domestic Abuse? I didn't even know those words existed a few months ago. I have what I thought was a unique and crazy backstory that has led up to this nightmare. I thought I was alone. I thought I was crazy. Imagine losing yourself in these realizations, the self-loathing for allowing these things to happen, the hurt from it coming from a person that you loved. I hated myself for the responses I was giving at the time every lie and hidden behavior was dropped in my lap. I have been hurt, angry, and disappointed so many times and it's even worse because I never thought the woman I loved could even be capable of things like this. It's taking a very long...

Just pacing today. I've been doing so much this last week I kind of forgot to eat and sleep a whole lot along the way, but you have to understand that clocks, calendars, and the light outside doesn't seem to have any bearing on where I'm at. I'm exhausted. I tried, really I did after my trip last week to divert some of this into something proactive, and at its root it's still the same thing. I'm trying anything and everything I can to reach out and be able to talk and hold my son. Just like prior to this mess, my whole day was devoted to moving forward and doing whatever it took to keep my family together. Somebody contacted me and said his mother and her wallet John could be open to allowing me to talk to my son. I wanted to get excited, really I did but you know after I finish with what I have to say you'll understand why I was reluctant to have any hope. You simply do not get between a parent and their child.  After I had a few things explained to me, I could see right through the reasoning behind them reaching...

Published: July 12, 2022 Updated: March 29, 2023 In a situation where one person abuses another, the other person may react. When this happens, the person who caused harm may be on the receiving end of an attack. They may then claim that the abused individual (who is acting in self-defense) is the abuser. This is a type of gaslighting called reactive abuse. It gives the one causing harm something to hold over the abused person’s head. Would you like help recovering from a relationship with a narcissist? BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.   Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp Visit BetterHelp What Is Reactive Abuse? Reactive abuse is a common manipulation tactic that places blame for abuse onto the abused. It’s commonly associated with gaslighting as this tactic aims to convince or rewrite the story, claiming the person who caused harm is actually a victim. This is also used by narcissists, as they often will play the role of the victim when they’re being faced with consequences for their actions. Why Is Reactive Abuse so...

Last updated: April 22, 2023 This Privacy Policy describes Our policies and procedures on the collection, use and disclosure of Your information when You use the Service and tells You about Your privacy rights and how the law protects You. We use Your Personal data to provide and improve the Service. By using the Service, You agree to the collection and use of information in accordance with this Privacy Policy. This Privacy Policy has been created with the help of the Privacy Policy Generator. Interpretation and Definitions Interpretation The words of which the initial letter is capitalized have meanings defined under the following conditions. The following definitions shall have the same meaning regardless of whether they appear in singular or in plural. Definitions For the purposes of this Privacy Policy: Account means a unique account created for You to access our Service or parts of our Service. Affiliate means an entity that controls, is controlled by or is under common control with a party, where "control" means ownership of 50% or more of the shares, equity interest or other securities entitled to vote for election of directors or other managing authority. Company (referred to as either "the Company", "We", "Us" or...

For much of the past year, we and several colleagues in our field have been trying to convince a publisher to retract a book.  Advocates are using the text because it contains details on how to advance numerous laws in the United States and throughout the world. The text is also currently being used to influence judicial decisions that affect the lives of thousands of families. The problem is, the work contains a massive amount of misinformation, misquoted sources, plagiarized text, and many other flaws. We have been so disappointed with the failure of the publisher and the Committee on Publishing Ethics (COPE) to address our concerns and our request for retraction that we have decided to share our experience with the scientific community.  On December 3, 2021, Routledge, part of the Taylor & Francis Group,  published Challenging Parental Alienation: New Directions for Professionals and Parents, which was edited by Jean Mercer and Margaret Drew. All of the chapter authors in the book have been staunch critics of parental alienation (PA) research and theory, the study of children who, as one of us (JJH) has written, are influenced by a parental figure to reject their other parent for reasons that are exaggerated or not legitimate during...

   I'm currently going through a difficult time in my life the biggest part of it is parental alienation from my son. A little over a month ago, his mother cut off all communication with me and him and her, after finding out she moved herself and him to another state without my consent or knowledge. The story leading up to this is a long one and you can read all about that in other journals I have posted. I just wanted to explain here why I created this website and what I hope to achieve. I've kept a journals for a very long time, and found it to be one of my passions because I was writing about our family's life. Well, that ultimately didn't end up as planned. I have been in a frantic panic mode because in all 13 years of my son's life rarely had a day ever gone by when I wasn't able to tuck him in bed at night and tell him that I loved him. Now, nothing. Just before forcing myself to sleep, I started thinking about how my other journal site started to turn into a ugly mess, and in my own mind...

Babe, Do you remember this? Do you remember making it? I remember that day clearly, because it always meant something to me. When we talked about making a door chime for our store, and the thing about the four bells I remember joking and saying: “The four bells were there to remind us of our family. You, Me, Mali, and a son we hoped to have one day. That way each time it rings when the door opens it's to remind us why we are doing this and we never know what is going to come through that door but we are all here together for it.” And you said “That the heart was our love protected inside an unbreakable fence we built.” We laughed a little and the light I saw in your eyes made me feel like I could do anything. We even wrinkled our noses and one of us said “cheesy”. I can't even remember if it was me or you. I never told you, but after you said that I went to the bathroom and cried a little because of how lucky it made me feel to hear you say that. Maybe I should have. Little things...